I AM THE OCEAN, oil on canvas, 12 x 14 in., L1,250 ($2,000)
The Path Beneath My Feet, oil on canvas, 20 x 16 in., L2,000 ($3,600)
As I have written about last Spring, (was it really that long ago?!) I have struggled to express the emotion that is swirling around me. I have elected to throw myself into finishing my house - a living, breathing sculpture, if you will. When I finished the final project for 2020, 4 flagstone patios, I sank into the depths of anxiety, depression, fear.....all those things that I had pushed aside for months of living in these uncertain times. I knew better than to ignore them; I had to let them pass through me so that they would exit. A very dear friend suggested that I paint what I was feeling when I told him that I was in an incredible thick bank of fog and cloud, and couldn't see the path beneath my feet. I also said that I had to trust that my path was laid, and all I had to do was put my feet down, one foot at a time.
In the first one, much later, after the end of that wonderful relationship; I had a vision while I was doing my morning contemplations/meditation. That I WAS the Ocean, that my own inner peace kept the waters calm. The turmoil below me untouching my waters as my lover chose to descend into the crevass below, unwilling to pull himself up by the golden thread between us.
It is a huge thing for me to put these images out for the public to see, even more to write about it all. But my painting has needed these mystical paintings; these voyages into expressing what I'm feeling rather than seeing. I hope this is the beginning of finding the focus that I lost when I left Scotland. It has been a challenge. But I can't complain - look what I've done! I have a beautiful 270 year old house over my head! That's where my focus has been...