Cowboy Doctoring (about 1930), 18" x 24", oil on canvas, sold (commission)
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Here is the finished commission! It was delivered in mid-February. I have been trying to finish another painting since, and until 2 days ago, couldn't even look at it much less pick up the brushes. I spent over a week, sitting with it, reading a book, listening to music, trying to let it keep coming forward. As I tried to get comfortable with the inevitable wait until I could work again, I realised how much I had emotionally wrapped up in this particular commission. The exhaustion when I left my friend's house after delivering the painting was incredible - from the emotional let down of a commission happily received.
I have always been emotionally tied to my work - even finishing a giant painting would require that I not paint for 3 days or so after, and that was when I was painting nearly every day! Actually, I've never been one of those artists who can just go in and work in my studio like I was going to a job. And I believe this is because I'm so emotionally tied to my work.
In order to even move forward on the NM Ceilidh painting on my easel (about 1/2 done now), I had to finally look at sketches from elsewhere and began a painting of Les Grande Dalles, not far from Honfleur on the Normandy coast. I'm not sure what the problem is, painting NM subjects. I have painted them before - yes, 30 years ago, but I have. But all I can say is once I took the pressure off of finishing a NM painting, by starting something NOT of NM, then I could slowly start to put more paint on the NM Ceilidh painting, and see the journey I need to take with that painting as well. I think, that it's all caught up in the emotional reality of living back in the USA after being gone for so long. And more, in trying to focus and find myself in a different situation than I thought I'd be in. Ill get there.
