Jumping Without a Net....

paint, panic, run, paint, dance, paint, panic, run, breathe, go deep inside, paint, dance.....under water (or so it feels!).  This is my first three weeks back in the USA.  I'm working again.  Painting the Brazos River, dancing to non-stop two stepping music, completely happy, then when I'm done for the day, I panic.... or sometimes, in the morning when I'm running my 6 mile route (3x/week), I panic.  This is a HUGE cliff I've leapt off.  But, I keep putting one foot in front of the other, breathe deep (no matter what speed I'm going), go deep - check in, dance, paint, breathe, dance, paint, run, breathe.  This change from one continent to another (my second change in 6 months...) is proving to be the biggest challenge of my life, so far.  All I can do is keep moving forward, into the fog, absolutely trusting that the tracks are perfectly laid for my feet, even though I can't see where they are.  The subject for the commission remains elusive, but not impossible.  I need to do these two landscapes to flex my painting muscles, make sure my feet are indeed traveling the perfectly laid tracks. 
                                                                           

 

Paris, TX studio.... with beginning of  Hot Day on the Brazos

Challenges - the need for my own wheels is becoming paramount; the lack of independence is beginning to tell on my psyche, my ability to do my job.  The phone can wait til I'm in NM, as can a USA driving license, and all the other things necessary to today's life, never mind my work.  The illness of my Dad adds to the challenges, but I'm mostly so glad and honoured that I'm here right now and able to see him even for a few days at a time.  So much to be grateful for, and the knowledge that I know I'm doing the right thing for me, for my work...

I'm trying to decide if its done....what do you think??  I think it is!

Hot Day on the Brazos, 12 x 16 in., oil on board, £1,250 ($2,000 approx)

FINDING MY FEET....

Looking West on the Brazos River, West of Ft. Worth, TX

 

I spent this past Friday looking at this view.  After a somewhat spacy, and wonderfully strange re-entry to the USA here in the town of Paris, TX, I am starting to feel my feet - somewhat!!!  Its harder than you think to move back to the USA - anywhere - after living 12 years abroad!  I've spent time with my Dad in his skilled nursing facility room in Dallas; listening to folk songs and western ballads and watching old movies (he really likes Singing in the Rain). I've spent time calming my poor Ardnamurchan kitty and am happy with her progress (what a brave kitty!), and had a few little tours around Paris, and started my running program.  All things designed to help me find my feet so that I can begin to ruminate and work on my commission. 

 

The thing I did that was best though, was to go out to the ranch on the edge of the Brazos River (Texas) west of Ft. Worth (its a LONG river, so you see why  I tell you SORT OF where it is), where my commission will hang...  feeling the inspiration literally flow through my veins. I could literally smell the juniper and mesquite, feel the dry heat, and felt like I could see forever....  So, watch this space!  I don't think it will be long before I begin to put paint to canvas again....  If I don't give myself heatstroke running too late first!!  First learned rule, don't run after 730 am until the weather cools...