IT'S BEEN AWHILE!

I hadn't realised how long it has really been since I wrote in here!  Since March, I've completed 2 more major commissions, and finished up enough work on my old house that I could finally get my permanent certificate of occupancy!  Then, it was a month in Europe - work and R&R - then back to New Mexico to finish two major outdoor projects on the house that had to be done before winter truly set in.  I managed to do enough, and am now sitting happily in my snug house, watching the snow blow, and resting from my exertions on behalf of the house.

Which gets me to what I actually decided I wanted to talk about!  I haven't painted since August, when I finished a few paintings to put into an annual Scottish Exhibition at Iona House Gallery in Woodstock, Oxfordshire.  I had also to get my full c/o before I left for Scotland and the Cote d'Azur, because there were no more extensions on the building permit I had originally obtained in 2016.  I returned from Europe, rested and inspired to paint, but also knew I had to put it on hold until I could finish the outside work.  That hold came at a price....While working on my house is essentially a creative endeavor, a sculpture if you like, the projects I was working on weren't... it was sheer graft, rather than creativity.  I knew it, and knew I would have to struggle to make the shift from construction to creation.

For me, the need to paint becomes visceral.  I can feel the channels in my body get stuffed up if I can't get it out.  But if I stop for awhile, for whatever reason, I go through this process I've become very familiar with, before I can actually look at photos I have for inspiration, sketch a study for a painting, much less pick up those brushes and put paint on the board or canvas. In the fog stage, I experience doubt, fear....doubt that I'll ever paint again; fear that if I do, it will be horrible or that people will discover what a fraud I am.  Yet, the fog and rising above it after enough time putting one foot in front of the other since I can't see anything, is an integral part of my creative process.  I must allow it, and move through it, not getting caught by the fear, in order to reach new levels in my work. So here I am, stuffed channels and all, beginning to talk about it after a fairly eventful year art wise. I hope in speaking about it, someone else out there can see how necessary this down time is for an artist.  The last fog period I had was this time last year, and and when I came out of it I began the first of three different commissions, a few other little paintings to take to Scotland, and managed to get my permanent occupancy permit on my little house.  No wonder I'm in the fog.  I tried to put all the work up, but it caused Blogger to freeze and loose half my writing...so here's the 2nd commision...

Gold Hill and Organ Pipe Cactus Blossoms, 30 x 50 in., oil on canvas, commissioned

Finished Commission!

Cowboy Doctoring (about 1930), 18" x 24", oil on canvas, sold (commission)

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Here is the finished commission!  It was delivered in mid-February.  I have been trying to finish another painting since, and until 2 days ago, couldn't even look at it much less pick up the brushes. I spent over a week, sitting with it, reading a book, listening to music, trying to let it keep coming forward.  As I tried to get comfortable with the inevitable wait until I could work again, I realised how much I had emotionally wrapped up in this particular commission.  The exhaustion when I left my friend's house after delivering the painting was incredible - from the emotional let down of a commission happily received.  

I have always been emotionally tied to my work - even finishing a giant painting would require that I not paint for 3 days or so after, and that was when I was painting nearly every day!  Actually, I've never been one of those artists who can just go in and work in my studio like I was going to a job.  And I believe this is because I'm so emotionally tied to my work.  

In order to even move forward on the NM Ceilidh painting on my easel (about 1/2 done now), I had to finally look at sketches from elsewhere and began a painting of Les Grande Dalles, not far from Honfleur on the Normandy coast.  I'm not sure what the problem is, painting NM subjects.  I have painted them before - yes, 30 years ago, but I have.  But all I can say is once I took the pressure off of finishing a NM painting, by starting something NOT of NM, then I could slowly start to put more paint on the NM Ceilidh painting, and see the journey I need to take with that painting as well.  I think, that it's all caught up in the emotional reality of living back in the USA after being gone for so long.  And more, in trying to focus and find myself in a different situation than I thought I'd be in. Ill get there.   

A COMMISSION!!!

Omaha Beach, Summer (Normandy), 24 x 30 in., oil on canvas, £3,000 ($4,500)

Well, 2019 has begun with a positive bang!!  Not only did a commission come just before Christmas, but a new client fell in love with a Ceilidh! painting formerly on display in Scotland!  But I'm writing today about the process of commissions. 

I love a commission!  I get paid in advance (half) to create a painting.  I get to explore, generally, a completely new direction for my eye; and work closely with the client to make sure that what I produce is exactly what they were expecting (if not more!).  This particular commission is an offshoot of the roping piece I did in 2015.  My client saw that piece and thought about what I had done, then contacted me just before Christmas to hand me a very old photograph of cowboys, horses, children and the landscape around Hot Springs, South Dakota.  The client's instructions were to make a great painting of action/passion/light/color that also happens to document the fact that two family members (and now 3, as I looked closely at the image), were participants in a historic time and place near the Pine Ridge Sioux reservation.

I have spent days focused on creating an image that has presence, balance and character; making sure that even if the horses and people aren't really more than strokes of a charcoal pencil and later brush loaded with paint, that they have proportion that shows action and passion.  I now go back to the client with my sketches, and once approved, the painting is mine to produce.  This is where my soul's reaction to the image comes forth and all the light and movement come out.  I can hardly wait to show the piece. 

And as for finding the balance and focus I need to create this work of art, I've made huge leaps forward....just by devoting a week to the sketches.  And as you can see above, I did do the painting of Omaha Beach, finally!  It's always a relief to know that the images will come, no matter what I seem to do in my life that gets in the way!

Just wait for it!!