A few days ago, I woke and suddenly realized that I absolutely was going to pick up a paintbrush that morning and start to paint. Soon as I finished feeding my Bed & Breakfast guest, I was going to just pick up the brush. Knew it without a doubt. And I did. I stood there working, while my guest and a neighbor sat having coffee and conversation not two feet from my easel! I'd had a conversation with myself that went somewhat like this, "tough up girl, you need to work, and it doesn't matter who is standing nearby or not! You just go out there, put on your music, and DO IT!" Then, long after my friends had decamped into the brilliant day, I stopped for a latish lunch, then saddled Dancer, and we had a 6 mile ride in the hills. An absolutely BRILLIANT day; and I couldn't help but think, "this is how my life used to be, this is how it should be again - instead of filled with endless tasks to make enough money to live to the next day!"
I think part of this is also an emerging sense of finding myself once again. We artists have to go thru periods of intense self-analysis and re-creation, I think. And I've certainly been forced into mine, kicking and screaming! I liked the comfortable, secure (ish) life I've created for myself here in Glenfinnan. But it seems that I'd gotten too comfortable, to settled, and that it MAY be time to start stretching my wings again. No, I don't know just where, when, or how, but at least I can begin to see that the decision will soon be upon me, and I'm content with it. As a result, my creative juices have fired on all cylinders! I can hardly wait to share the results with you all!