Brushes In My Hands Again - FINALLY!

Well, after my last blog post getting things off my chest, and a few days of real quiet and focus, I've finally started to paint.  Not what I'd expected to begin to work on - but that doesn't matter, as long as I'm painting!  I've begun with strong momentum.  Two paintings are sketched on, and one is begun.  I'm starting with a piece from my sojourn at Omaha Beach.  The second is about my favorite music spot at the moment, on a Wednesday night, when often an extra musician or two will stop by and join Jimmy Stadler for a real Ceilidh!  These both speak to where I was, and where I am now....and it seems I need to bring both to the fore, instead of other planned ideas.  It's like having been badly constipated and shell shocked as well, and when I can start to focus on my work, suddenly everything loosens up and the smoke dissipates into clear skys ahead. 

No, I'm not going to show you half-finished work....but I will tease you with an image of Omaha Beach, and one that MAY become a painting from the Taos Ceilidh!

SETTING LIMITS...

Hello!  Been awhile since I've talked about my work.....mostly because getting to the work point, the painting point, has been such a challenge that I'm not doing much writing.  I remember talking about setting limits in August!  But since mid September, I have tried unsuccessfully to keep those limits, keep my focus, keep my painting time.  I fought hard to produce the two miniatures for a show at a new gallery in Ft. William, Scotland; and again, fought to finish in time, a painting for the annual Scottish show at Iona House Gallery, Woodstock (UK).  Unusually for me, I was scrambling to get all three pieces into the mail, leaving enough time to get them to the UK.  But I made it - by the skin of my teeth!  Below you see the two miniatures...

Eilean Shona, 6" x 8"., oil on board

Picuris Peak, Autumn, 6" x 8", oil on board

I also managed to produce a few other small, but good images of Scotland - Iona and Glenfinnan.  So its not been a complete waste.  For the miniature show, I decided to paint one Scottish and one NM landscape, as I have a foot on each side of the pond now.  

Since I managed to get the work off to Scotland in time, I've not put paint to canvas.  I've a list of ideas; sketches of things I want to explore on canvas or revisit.  However, my inability to set limits has gotten in my way.  If I have one big boogie man in my fairly charmed life, it's monetary.  I have been helping a friend out in her shop, while she recovers from double knee replacement; and what began as a 2 day/week job, turned into many more hours as others didn't respect my off time.  I'm so glad I had the time to do this for her; but it's had a negative, knock-on effect on my art time.  That is, the time I need to have to contemplate, to be quiet enough to hear my inner voice; to do the selling, writing and coordinating that must be done to be successful as a painter has been hugely diminished.  (I estimate that the business of being an artist takes about 60% of one's time!).  And the biggest boogie man comes from that - I am terrified I will become so dependent on that little bit of income that I will be stuck. The basic lack of understanding, by the general public,  of the fact that my very life is a business, is one reason why I moved overseas in 2001!  Coming back, I knew nothing had changed; but I had put 17 years (at that time) into the focus of painting full time, and I figured I could be strong.

It took a lot of time and courage to jump off the cliff of being an artist full time.  I've been living off my work since 1998.  Over the last 20 years, I have taken the odd part-time job when things got too tight, opened a bed and breakfast the last two years in my home in Glenfinnan; but none of those things have interrupted my creative time like this little job has done.  I always made time to do the marketing of my work, the record keeping, planning, looking for exhibitions, meeting clients.  I have had to put ALL of those things on hold, or in second or third place behind duties keeping my loved friend's business and employees on an even keel.  

There is an end to the job, I know; but, what scares me is that the 3 - 4 months that I have happily and knowingly given, has translated into another delay in my work reaching clients who have only just begun to realize I'm painting again.  I'll be out of a job, a paycheck, that I have cursed and can hardly wait to end, but my business will have suffered, and I'm TERRIFIED that I'll not have enough to pay my bills.  Active painting translates directly into active sales.  I'm afraid that I'll not be able to stop working because I'm now so dependent on this little paycheck; because the selling part of my job had only just begun again. And perhaps THAT is what is keeping me from painting....that and exhaustion.  Shopkeeping, and I'm good at it, is the antithesis of a quiet, creative life.  You must be on the entire time you're there.  I don't sketch (Its a dress shop....charcoal and expensive clothing don't go together); in fact, there isn't enough time to really read a book. There is NO down time. I collapse when I get home, because my day starts very early as well. 

I'm writing all this because I need to understand myself how I got to this twisted place.  I allowed it.  No one's fault but my own.  And if there is a fledgling artist out there reading this, I hope that they realize that its HARD to be a full-time artist in the USA.  Hard enough in Europe, where there is a culture of patronage for artists; but here, it's a challenge to find that balance of being supportive and kind, and saying "NO! This is MY time, my work, my business! Nothing can interrupt my time unless MY work is done!"  It takes tremendous self-drive, focus, and a "never give up, never give in" attitude. Even after all this time, people say, "Gail, you have to pay your bills, have money.  You have to have a job."  NO.  I don't.  I have a more than full-time job.  Being an artist is 24/7.  Everything I do, everywhere I go, relates to my work.  Even if that is a little job that has a negative relation to my work.  It all affects my work.  This is where having the back-up plan that so many people insist we have gets in the way....that back-up plan will, every time, get in the way of getting the artist's work done.  Even if its just putting things online so that people can see you're working.  I've always said, "if I had a back up plan, I'd be doing that!  Being an artist is harder than you can imagine!" 

Perhaps I'll get lucky and the three paintings on exhibition will all sell! Or a new client will grace my new studio, or see something at one of the other places I have work on display, and find something they can't live without.  That hasn't changed, no matter what side of the pond I've been on.  Always the hope.  Thanks for listening.  

Painting - finally - and setting limits!

Well, I've now been in my house on the Talpa Ridge just outside of Taos, NM for nearly 3 months.  I've managed to paint and complete 3 little gem paintings from Saussemare in Normandy, and have begun a 4 th from Glenfinnan in Scotland.  I began after being in my house for 2 months; and once I started, for the most part, its been simple.  But I'm out of practice in the art of keeping my focus despite welcome (mostly) interruptions!  We artists have to practice at keeping the intense focus it takes to delve deep into ourselves and let it come out on canvas (even if its a pretty landscape!).  I have intense focus, from the construction, but its different this time.  With the construction of my casa, it came of desperation to get the old place habitable (in the eyes of the county), so that I could finally stop sofa surfing after 4 years!!  The first 2 months were just letting go and getting rid of the exhaustion that was constant when I finally got my TEMPORARY occupancy permit...getting the Waltz Across Texas series moved from TX, settling my cat and dog after living with other people for a year, and finding my feet.  Still doing that - finding my feet -, because I am very easily shifted from the focus necessary to create and sell those creations to the many other things here in my home country that claim my attention.  I'll get there.  I am forcing myself to have several quiet days in a row, writing, looking at images, sketching, and just being alone, in order to corral the focus back  from all the other necessities of life. 

I can only imagine what its like (or remember perhaps is a better word) for young artists/musicians/writers coming out of school, getting hit with the necessities of working to pay off loans, suddenly completely responsible for your well being, and yet, the need to keep swerving back to your purpose.... for me, that's painting. 

Route de Saussemare, 8 x 10 in., oil on board, sold   (commissioned)

Made it!!

Well, after three months of 7 days/week, full time construction, and nearly 7 days/week from December, I have finally satisfied all of the various County rules/regulations, and have my temporary occupancy.  This means I can live in and still work on my studio.  But more importantly, I can set up a studio and begin to paint.  I have spent the last 9 months attempting to consolidate my life in two places in the world:  Taos, New Mexico and Glenfinnan, Scotland.  From these two places, I'm hoping I can keep traveling the world to paint.  But right now, I'm setting up the studio, feeling the good feeling of a job well done.  Here is 7216 Hwy 518, Ranchos de Taos, NM!

Nearly There!

I can taste it; the ability to stay in one place with my scottish cat, my husky dog rescue, and my paints!  Sooner than you think, I'll be living in my little 3/4 finished house on the Talpa Ridge and painting, hosting art classes, workshops, and friends.  This journey, to create a home space from which to launch myself once again, into the world, has tested me physically, emotionally and of course, financially!!  It's been like resurrecting a living, breathing sculpture.  Walls can't be finished yet; not until the electrical system has its' rough in exam...  What a process!  But I've got 3 floors down, a 4th ready to be screwed down and the bricks for the kitchen.  I am so tired, I can hardly move, let alone pick up a paint brush!!

I know I said in the last blog that I would begin to paint as soon as I have one floor down....but, in order to get into my house by early March, I must put all my energy into floors, and working with my plumber (soon as I call him) to get in toilets, a bath tub, the combi-boiler, two sinks, and right now, I need 3" screws!!  I ran out today. I will begin to paint in March, when I occupy my abode with my cat and my dog!